Question: My daughter recently had a child with a man she barely knows. The two of them don’t get along well and he’s sometimes hostile towards her in front of their son. The father has limited visitation which is good. However, he and his family refuse to call my grandson by his given name. I’m worried that this conflict over my grandson’s name will have a negative impact on him. We don’t want him to be confused. Answer: It’s very disappointing when co-parents cannot get along with each other because it is in the best interests of the child(ren) that …
How Do I Deal with a Difficult Dad?
Question: I had a good relationship with my dad when I was growing up but things got bad after my parents divorced. I initially sided with him but he started being nasty. My brother got fed up and left, leaving me alone with him. My dad became really overbearing and constantly pointed out everything I had done wrong with my life. I tried to get along with him but he just got aggressive. I was scared about what would happen to him if I confronted him, so I stopped. Even though all that was years ago, I can’t stop thinking …
Boyfriend Still Texts Ex-Wife
Question: I’ve been in a romantic relationship for over a year with a divorced dad with two kids. Our relationship is great but the problem is his ex-wife. She’s still angry about their breakup. While he said he wants to put the past behind him and move forward, they still text each several times a day to talk about the kids. Sometimes she even knows about his plans before I do! I understand that co-parents need to discuss plans regarding the children but this seems excessive. How do I talk about boundaries without sounding unreasonable? I’m ready to leave but …
How Do I Deal with a Mother with an Addiction?
Question: I’m embarrassed to admit this but my mother is an addict. She’s been an alcoholic for a long time and recently added prescription medication to the mix. She’s been to rehab several times. It works for a while but then she starts using again. It was hard growing up with her drinking so much but, out of my siblings, I’m the one who got along with her the best. They’d always tell me, “You deal with Mom!” I thought things would get better once I moved out and started my own family but it’s only gotten worse. She calls …
No Longer Running on Empty: Five Ways of Recharging Your Battery
These days a lot of people feel like they’re running on empty. They report feeling tired, sad, depressed and unmotivated. However, there are things you can do to counteract these feelings. The five ways of recharging your battery can help you feel full of life again.
Moving Forward in Relationships: An Update
In a previous column, I discussed why communication and setting a boundary is crucial for the process of moving forward in relationships. However, it is important to know the distinction between an ultimatum and a boundary.
Firm Boundaries Can Help Divorced Families
Divorce can be difficult especially when adding someone new. Yet things like open communication and firm boundaries can help divorced families successfully integrate new partners.
Our Relationship to Conflict: Lessons from The Pacific
One of the best things I’ve learned during my training in counseling psychology is that there are healthier reactions to conflict. One such reaction is to gain understanding and empathy for the other person or situation.