Emotions Come From the Heart Instead of the Head

emotions, heart

Some people really struggle in how to open up to others. It often can be a very frustrating process, because they have yet to get to the heart (pun intended) of the matter. The first step in correcting this is to stop being scared of emotions. Emotions are very important. They provide us with information about ourselves and our surroundings as well as giving us ways to connect meaningfully with others.

Emotions also help our bodies run smoothly. If we repress our emotions for too long, our bodies will let us know that something is not right. I compare emotions to a teapot. If the steam (emotions) cannot escape in the appropriate way through the vent, then they will either leak out in whatever way they can or the teapot will explode. For humans, this means either being irritable for no reason, becoming physically ill or having a meltdown.

Given this, it’s hard to understand why people don’t just let ourselves feel our emotions. But it isn’t that easy. Emotions often cause us emotions, fear, anger, happinessto feel bad because they can be painful and make us vulnerable. For many people, protecting themselves from that hurt is why they shut off your feelings in the first place. While that can be self-protective in the short-term, it can also be quite damaging in the long-term because there is no balance.

Painful emotions might be avoided by doing this but shutting them off means that good emotions don’t get felt either. Emotions can be wonderful. They allow us to experience passion, love and joy and they give us ways to develop satisfying relationships. However, they do come with some risk because emotions can and will cause pain.

However, contrary to what some people think, feeling emotions and even showing them doesn’t make us weak. If anything, they make us stronger because we are willing to feel them anyway. As the saying goes, courage is not the absence of fear but rather doing what needs to be done in spite of it.

The second step in opening up to others is allowing ourselves to feel our emotions. We all need to take some time and space in which we can think of different memories (happy, sad and scary ones) and feel the emotions. We need to discover how each emotion feels in our bodies because this can be different for everyone.

Toward this end, journaling about how the memory or experience feels can be helpful. Talking to understanding people about your emotions (counselor are ideal people to help with this process) may facilitate this as well. Complete these exercises as many times as it takes to have your emotions come naturally.

Once we are able to feel our own emotions, we can start imagining how others feel and then use these new observations in conversation. Positive dialogues often consist of letting people know how we feel about things, asking about their own feelings and then seeing if we can find common ground.

Solid relationships are built on the exchange of emotions. This is called emotional intimacy and it can be exhilarating. Once we are able to be emotionally intimate, opening up to people will come from the heart instead of the head. This can make all the difference.

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