Why Won’t I Leave My Husband?

Question: I’m married and have two sons. Even from the beginning, my marriage wasn’t great. My husband constantly cheats on me, even when I was pregnant! Whenever I confront him, he promises not to do it again but he does. It’s like he can’t stop himself. If it was just the affairs, I could deal with it but we also fight all the time. This has made me depressed and anxious. It’s gotten so bad that I’ve even been hospitalized. I know my marriage isn’t worth fighting for (even my oldest son begged me to leave) but I can’t. I …

My Mom’s an Alcoholic

Question: My mom drinks alcohol a lot. When she’s drunk, she acts stupid, like being silly or having accidents in the car. Sometimes we get into fights because I’m so mad at her for not acting normal or being like other moms. When we fight, I hurt her but I don’t let her hurt me. My dad gets really mad at her too. He calls her an alcoholic and says they’re getting divorced. Both of them talk badly about the other. I don’t know what to do. Answer: You’re dealing with two of the most difficult situations a child can …

Two Names for Grandson Will Be Fine

Question: My daughter recently had a child with a man she barely knows. The two of them don’t get along well and he’s sometimes hostile towards her in front of their son. The father has limited visitation which is good. However, he and his family refuse to call my grandson by his given name. I’m worried that this conflict over my grandson’s name will have a negative impact on him. We don’t want him to be confused. Answer: It’s very disappointing when co-parents cannot get along with each other because it is in the best interests of the child(ren) that …

Is This Gaslighting?

Question: My ex-boyfriend used to constantly accuse me of cheating on him even though he was the one who was being unfaithful. He even called me a whore and told all his friends that I was one. Even though I never cheated, he demanded that I “come clean” and said he couldn’t be with someone who lied. I used to feel like I was crazy because I knew I wasn’t lying yet he insisted I was. Now that we’ve broken up, things are better for me but I can’t get rid of the bad feelings. Is his behavior gaslighting? Answer: …

My Son Admires the Columbine Killers

Question: Help! My son says he admires the Columbine shooters because they felt the same way he does toward society. I’ve read that a lot of young men feel this way which is pretty scary. I’m worried for my son but I don’t know what to say. How can I explain that what they did is wrong? Answer: One of the many problems with what happened in Littleton, Colorado on April 20, 1999 is the amazing amount of misinformation about what exactly occurred. Columbine, one of the best books covering the tragedy, was written by Dave Cullen, a journalist who …

I’m Free, So Why Am I Depressed?

Question: My father is very controlling. When I was a kid, his word was law and I had no power. In order to not go crazy, I’d just “check out” emotionally. There was never any point in trying anything (pleading, getting upset, talking calmly with him) because nothing ever changed. I thought that once I no longer lived with him, I’d be excited to be free but I’m not. Instead, I’m so depressed that I’ve considered suicide. Is my depression a way of repressing who I am like I did growing up? He has no control over me anymore, so why …

I’m Afraid To Be Vulnerable with Others

Question: For as long as I can remember, I’ve been afraid of being vulnerable with other people, even good friends. Everyone thinks I’m secretive because I never tell them anything about myself. I only hang out with people in a group because I worry that if I meet them separately, they’ll know I like them. I truly don’t understand why I’m like this. Everyone I meet likes me and a lot try to be my friend. But the only time I go anywhere is when people invite me. I never invite people to do things, no matter how much I …

Why Can’t I Be the Best?

Question: Why is it that, no matter what I do, I can never be the best? I always feel like a failure even when I get second place. Yes, second place is still great but knowing that doesn’t help. I’ve tried hard to be the best but I can never get there. I wish my parents weren’t so laid back. If they’d put more pressure on me, maybe I’d be better. Even relationships are a challenge. My siblings and I fight a lot, even over small things like chores. My dad says they get along when I’m not there but …

My Son is Angry All the Time

Question: There is something seriously wrong with my 5 year old son. He is constantly angry, even when he first wakes up in the morning. He has major meltdowns, threatens people and is aggressive, sometimes even violent. But he’s also outgoing and has friends at his preschool. I’ve read parenting books but their advice hasn’t worked. I took him to a psychiatrist who said he was probably on the Spectrum but refused to give him an official diagnosis until he was older. I feel like no one’s helping me. This is so hard and I don’t know what to do. …

Is a Big Difference in Age Bad for Romance?

Question: I’m worried about a friend of mine who just started a relationship with a woman 25 years younger than he is. I keep telling him it’s wrong. Other people have too. He admits that he gets funny looks and disapproving comments from people, especially from people who know him, but he still wants to explore the relationship. What should I tell him? Answer: As the song says, love is a many splendored thing. It comes in all varieties and cuts across race, ethnicity, religion, gender and politics. It even cuts across age. There are many so-called “May-December” romances (those …